perhaps. maybe. never.

it's been one hell(yes hell) of a week. whole lot of duties to do. plus i gotta step up my training if i ever want to get a gold. not sure how i'm gonna do that, since i'm kinda reluctant to commit to a fixed regimen. glad the weekend's finally here. 

i finally understand. it was my dream, not yours. 

i got you involved in this. how did i not see? how selfish of me. 

yeah that's why. never. never ever.

i remember when.

yes meant yes. and no meant no. i remember when the biggest thing going for us were exams, tests and assignments. taxi fares started from 2.40 and homework was done minutes from submission time. staying up through the night was the dopest shit and nothing was ever too "off" topic for discussion.

don't say you'll call back when i know you won't.

you can go wherever you like.

'cos iiiiiiiii loooooove the way i pretend not to care, when i do.. :P

waahahhahahah seriously. and judging from other people's actions, i think no one even catches on. 

looking back, my concerns of the past week are minute and immature. seriously, i can't believe all that was getting me down. of course, it would be nice and all if everything worked out.

give me your hand but realise i just wanna say goodbye.

please understand i have to leave and carry on with my own life.

i've nothing against you, but surely i'll miss you.

by request.

tight

yeah. that's the word. we used to be so tight. now it's just. weird.
it's my fault i got a fungal infection on my feet? wished i got charged?
you're no different from those self-righteous pricks who stoned the somali rape victim to death, for "adultery".
yeah go ahead. it's nice to know that these are the same people whom i've spent the better part of the past year with. i mean, if there's a problem, confront me. what's up with the sarcastic comments or just plain ignoring me.
goodness, i guess no one treasures things enough to want to work at it.. i don't like burning bridges. because, one day, there might be no more bridges left for you to cross.

infestation!

athlete's foot, sore eyes, what next? hope they don't throw me in quarantine. yikes.

as if that isn't bad enough, i'm getting bad vibes from the guys. it's just a hunch, but i think they think i'm faking it. which is not surprising. and saddening at the same time. oh well. i guess you can't please everybody.

i suppose it's good to have the extra rest. but i'd really like to be training. mixing it up with the guys again. the month away was fun, but lonely as well. well, yes, there were people around. but there's around and there's, well, around. am i making sense?

anyways, i do miss the weather, the terrain, the fresh air, the really affordable drinks, the friendly canteen girls :P but seriously, over there, even with little or no sleep, you'd always wake up fresh in the mornings. i could really use that. waking up fresh in the mornings, never been able to do that since i got back.